R Raisedbynarcissists (2025)

FAQs

What childhood trauma causes narcissism? ›

Focusing on individual ACEs, in males, all maltreatment experiences were associated with narcissistic rivalry, with the exception of physical neglect, while in women only emotional maltreatment and emotional neglect were significant. Associations with household dysfunction were shown only in men.

A narcissistic parent is a parent affected by narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder. Typically, narcissistic parents are exclusively and possessively close to their children and are threatened by their children's growing independence.

They may feel that they need to look out for themselves because no one else will. NPD happens more in males than females. It usually shows up in teens or young adults. Keep in mind that children -- and really anyone -- can act in ways that seem narcissistic at times.

We demonstrate that narcissism in children is cultivated by parental overvaluation: parents believing their child to be more special and more entitled than others. In contrast, high self-esteem in children is cultivated by parental warmth: parents expressing affection and appreciation toward their child.

The outrage a narcissist may experience when they feel they no longer have control over you may spark a furious outburst. They attempt to reestablish their control through aggression and force. Narcissistic rage is an intense, aggressive reaction to a perceived threat to a narcissist's self-esteem or self-worth.

Lack of empathy

They are attuned their child's thoughts, needs and fears and try to respond in a compassionate manner. A narcissistic mother can regularly act cold or oblivious towards their child. She will typically not even try to understand their child, only engaging with them when she feels it may benefit her.

Narcissistic mothers may say things to their daughters like: “After everything I've done for you, this is how you repay me?” “You always disappoint me; I don't know why I bother.” “If you loved me, you would do as I say.”

Narcissists get upset about things like anyone else and, sometimes, cry because of it. Mary Ann Little, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author of "Childhood Narcissism: Strategies to Raise Unselfish, Unentitled, and Empathetic Children" adds that they can be “extremely sensitive to emotional blows of any sort.

Additionally, narcissistic mothers frequently engage in emotional manipulation tactics such as gaslighting, guilt-tripping, or playing mind games. This can cause children to doubt their own perceptions and feelings, leading to a difficulty in trusting their own judgment and the intentions of others.

What happens to adult children of narcissists? ›

Anxiety and Depression

Research has shown a correlation between being raised by narcissistic parents and the development of anxiety and depression in adulthood. This is often due to the chronic stress and emotional turbulence experienced during formative childhood years.

Narcissists can't handle even the slightest criticism or feedback, because it wounds their grandiose sense of self. As a result, no matter how kindly or gently you word it, they will lash out severely if you tell them they are a narcissist.

“Going no-contact is the best option when several areas of your life are being destroyed by maintaining your relationship with this person. This may be your physical health, emotional or mental health, financial health, spiritual health, or social health,” says Cummin.

Narcissistic personality disorder may be linked to: Environment — parent-child relationships with either too much adoration or too much criticism that don't match the child's actual experiences and achievements. Genetics — inherited characteristics, such as certain personality traits.

If you're the child of a parent diagnosed with NPD or who displays narcissistic traits, you may be part of a legacy of intergenerational trauma. This means that the narcissistic traits your parent exhibits may be from adverse events in their own childhood.

Sometimes, a TBI can trigger various personality disorders that may have previously been dormant or almost undetectable. One example is narcissistic personality disorder, and this can be highly distressing for loved ones to witness.

Narcissistic abuse often causes emotional trauma, which can deeply affect a victim's mental health over time. Like other forms of psychological abuse and emotional abuse, it can lead to anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder.